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NON-TOXIC FEMINISM: GENDER EQUALITY FROM A CULTURAL PERSPECTIVE (3)

Ekwefi was still married to Anene when she decided to become Okonkwo's wife. 

Achebe's book did not present details of abuse or maltreatment in the marriage contracted between Anene and Ekwefi. 

She was simply bored and needed to go over to a successful groom.

On her way to the stream one day, Ekwefi decided to pay Okonkwo, a married man, a visit. 

The rest is history, they say.


She did not inform Anene she was going to visit Okonkwo.

She did not tell Anene she was moving on with Okonkwo.

Ekwefi simply walked on with the man after her heart, without any consideration that Anene was still committed to their union.

There was no record of dissenting opinions regarding Ekwefi's act in Umuofia - it was a regular occurrence, most likely. 

Life quietly went on. 

Anene was refunded some money with which he would take another wife.

Today, men are expected to inform their wives before re-evaluating their marriages.

Meanwhile ...

Women who initiated divorces or breakups never negotiated with their men at their point of decision; to proceed or not. 

These women simply spoke with their own family, friends, or/and a lawyer; or just sent a text message. 

This is quite understandable - she should not be or cannot be married to, or be in a committed relationship with two men at the same time.

Many wives employ technicalities to ditch the man, especially in old marriages - for instance, relocation, omugwo, or starting businesses in the city to evade  retiring to the home country with their aging husbands after retirement.

If you ask diligently, many divorced men never anticipated their women would go that way. Yet it happened and no one is saying anything about this.

If the man chooses not to divorce his wife since she still has vested interests (children, jointly-owned investments,etc.) in the marriage, should it be regarded as misbehaviour if he also, makes his choice like Ekwefi did?

Has any woman been made to withdraw her divorce suit by her husband, forcibly?

(To be continued...)


Ifedimma Onwugbufor is an author, trained teacher, screenwriter, ghostwriter, and technical communicator. 

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