NON-TOXIC FEMINISM: GENDER EQUALITY FROM A CULTURAL PERSPECTIVE (5a)

Is it the ability to find a willing partner who is ready to do life with the woman, that we call achievement?

Or the ability to make lemonade of all the lemons the circumstances of marriage throw at the couple?

Or the steadfastness in loving and cherishing through thick and thin?

Or the abundance of the dividends of marriage?

Or the physical charm, status, and material worth of the partner?

Or the length of time spent together in the marriage?

Which of the above determines the achievement status?

If we say marriage is not an achievement, how do we describe the glory and joy associated with the sacrifice put into marriage?

If we say marriage is not an achievement, why go into it in the first place?

If we say marriage is not an achievement, what is the value of the products?

On the other hand ...

If we say marriage is an achievement, does it mean that divorced couples lost the achievement?

If we say marriage is an achievement, why does it cause pain?

If we say marriage is an achievement, why do people feel like opting out sometimes?

A singer earning an award is an achievement.

A writer winning a competition is an achievement.

A sportsman or woman winning a prize is an achievement.

An actor or actress earning recognition is an achievement.

A student graduating from a school with a certificate is an achievement.

Note, that in none of the circumstances does the achiever wail of his or her award, prizes, or certificate or complain of the achievements being frustrating or wishing to forfeit or throw it away.

If marriage is an achievement ...

Why do people fight with their partners and significant other?

Why do people in marriage get involved in extramarital affairs?

In essence, having a child is better described as an achievement.

You own a child. It is permanent; except God speaks otherwise.

But ...

Marriages are not permanent structures. Marriage as an institution, can be transient, depending on the partners involved.

Even God speaks of its impermanence several times.

That's why there are no hacks.

If there is something special about being married ... Then

It has to be a good marriage.

If you say a good marriage is an achievement, that is tenable.

Ridiculously, marriage as an achievement is touted by mostly women.

Yet ... The Bible says the man who finds a wife obtains favour from God. Shouldn't it be men boasting of achieving Marriage?

It is the reason many feminists are cancelling bridal wealth or dowry.

The commodification of the woman in these parts makes it ridiculous for a woman to boast of being 'bought'. (loaned, actually).

Mind you ...

If that money is not returned, she is still regarded as his wife.

(To be continued ...)

Ifedimma Onwugbufor is an author, trained teacher, screenwriter, ghostwriter, and technical communicator.

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